State of the Eppy, Fall 2023

In which I woke up with a BIT too much serotonin and blather a few things that remind everyone that I can be a problem precisely because I am probably too smart and listen too well for my own good sometimes.

Health, Wealth and Success: Seems to be pretty good. I have aged into my 40s and have a paid off house and paid off cars and while I can’t retire Right Now, it looks like there is a pretty good chance I could retire When I Am Supposed-To even with the rate and severity of various catastrophes continuing as predicted. I seem to keep getting Good Grades at the Doctor and the Dentist and the Therapist and now the Eye Doctor which are, of course, both Achievable and Something To Strive-For (Yes yes, I know… but I don’t try to point out all the silly conditioning YOUR upbringing imparted in you in the hopes of keeping you the perfect balance of fully realized human but not too irritating… so don’t you come into MY space and…) I seem to have numbers moving in okay directions and while the glasses are still optional, they are fancier and do niftier things and I’ll probably try to get them yearly now.

Going Out, Doing Things: My social anxiety seems to be keeping me in the house a bunch still, But the desire to Go Plan Things and Go Do Those Things seems to be steadily increasing. Unfortunately, things are shifting constantly, and the search engines and social networks are enshittifying so the reliability of information about whether the things to do that are being shown to me are Actually Going To Be Fun without Any Of The Little Indignities I Try To Avoid versus just showing up because someone paid money to have them put in front of me is much more suspect. Also, lots of things are shifting post pandemic so a lot of restaurants are different and all the drag bars have shifted and also Atlanta Drag has a bit of a A bit of a broken stair problem that is reducing the amount of shows I want to attend put on by certain showrunners/bars so that reliable get-me-out-of-the-house-er is now less reliable.

Sexuality/Gender/Etc: Still queer as fuck, married, but I see myself having aged up from Kevin McCallister from Home Alone having grown more into the general mannerisms of Kate McCallister (played by Catherine O’Hara) instead of Peter McCallister (played by John Heard) as I aged. Thus, I will probably age semi-gracefully into an elder queer who ends up looking a lot like Somebody’s Lesbian Aunt and, god-willing, near the end of my life I just end up just being regarded as a very old powerful being that gives good advice without trying to bum people out too much and generally shouldn’t be fucked-with.

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